


The Devil Finds Work For Idle Assassins

by Daegaer



Category: Weiß Kreuz
Genre: Assassins & Hitmen, Drabble, Gen, Psychic Abilities
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-06
Updated: 2013-11-06
Packaged: 2017-12-31 16:42:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1033960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daegaer/pseuds/Daegaer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Crawford and Schuldig indulge in a private war.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Devil Finds Work For Idle Assassins

**Author's Note:**

> Three drabbles set just pre- _Kapitel_ , when Schwarz have a bit of downtime and far too much time on their hands.

 

Crawford flung the door open and charged through, knowing as he did so that he was already too late. It was done, the carnage clear to see. He took a deep, steadying breath.

“Which of you,” he said icily, “ate my Reece’s peanut–butter cups?”

“Nagi,” Schuldig said, lazily raising his coffee cup to his lips.

Nagi’s eyes widened in shock as Crawford’s hand twitched towards his holster. “I didn’t! Schuldig, you’re _dead_!” He stormed out of the kitchen, followed by Crawford yelling about _his_ property not being theft, dammit.

Schuldig smiled peaceably and wiped the chocolate from his mouth.

 

* * *

 

“Fuck me,” Schuldig said, “we’ve got to go to New York.”

“”I’ll regret this - why?” Crawford asked.

“I’m almost out of my Frédéric Fekkai conditioner!” Schuldig whimpered piteously, clutching at his hair.

“Get Nagi to buy it on the net for you.”

“It can’t be the same, this bottle hasn’t lasted at all. We have to go to New York, Crawford, to get the real stuff!”

“Maybe next month,” Crawford said. “You’ll have to share my drugstore brands until then.”

He smiled at Schuldig’s horrified wail. And revelled in how soft and silky his expensively and illicitly conditioned pubes felt.

 

* * *

 

“This bullshit must stop!” Nagi said. “They’re more childish than me!”

“We could kill them,” Farfarello suggested cheerfully.

“That’s what you say about everything!”

“It’s never failed me yet.”

“They need something to focus on. I found some losers in Tokyo. They’re florists by day, assassins by night –“

“Scary,” Farfarello sniggered. “Especially if you have hay fever.”

“Shut up. I’ll engineer a meeting; _you_ throw the fight to make them _seem_ scary -”

Farfarello raised his eyebrow

“- and I’ll personally ensure you never run out of Irish brands of tea in Japan.”

“Done.”

And so peace finally broke out in Schwarz.


End file.
